Dispatch One Hundred and Nine, July 30th, 2026

Greetings WHM Family! And just like that the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza and Season Sweet Sixteen of this very show have come to an end. But don’t fret! We’ve got a full month of amazing Patreon offerings and great live shows that are some of the best we’ve ever done! Speaking of Sweet Sixteen, what was your favorite episode of the season? Favorite bit? Go nuts on yer socials and talk about it (and chat in the comments below), we’re genuinely curious! 

As we say every year, it’s a real pleasure to get to do this silly show each month and you folks are the entire reason we get to do it. Thank you for being a patron and a listener. We’re lucky to have you!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit: Birthday Dog by jobifresh via Reddit

WHM HITS VEGAS NEXT WEEK!

Speaking of live shows, we’ve got three exciting ones coming up in the glamorous city of Las Vegas next week! That’s right, WHM is hitting Vegas for the very first time for our VERY FIRST fan convention to celebrate 10 amazing years of The Nexus at ST: LV! The only way to do a convention this big is with the three BIGGEST Star Trek movies encapsulating both halves of The Nexus—TOS & TNG! We’ll be talking Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan on Thursday, Star Trek: Generations on Friday, and then finishing it off with Star Trek: First Contact on Saturday! The line must be drawn HERE! And the cool part is, you don’t need to be a convention attendee to come see the shows, it’s ticketed separately! So, if you want to pick up tickets, check out this page for all the details! We can’t wait to see you all there!

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Star Trek (2009, WHM Vault Unlock)

Our lawyer opens the infamous WHM Patreon Vault only a handful of times per year, and this year, they selected J.J. Abrams’ thrilling update of Star Trek from 2009, a fan favorite WLM episode recorded in August 2020. Are the lens flares really that bad? Why can’t we get more Sulu swordplay? Does the Beastie Boys needle-drop still work as well as it did in the theater? If we sound insane, remember we were in the throes of a nationwide lockdown at the time of this recording. Be forgiving.

Episode 873 – Spider-Man 2 (2004) (Patrons Only)

For July’s We Love Movies episode, the boys took to the tower-ridden skies of Manhattan with Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker once more, this time trying to open up to Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) and subdue the rage of the villainous Doc Ock (Alfred Molina). How much are we going to talk about New York City pizza? (Answer: Way Too Much!) Why didn’t we get any Man-Wolf? Is Aunt May secretly drunk all the time? Plus, plenty of praise for the incomparable J.K. Simmons. 

Episode 874 – Battleship (2012) with Brian Salisbury

Junkfood Cinema kingpin, Brian Salisbury came aboard to hit the high seas and battle the alien-lizard menace with Liam Neeson, Taylor Kitsch, and a cooked-to-a-crisp Alexander Skarsgård. Do those missiles look like the tabs from the game? God Damn, That Sucks! Why are you making me wait to see the aliens? This isn’t Jaws. How many veterans do they have working as actors in this thing? Also, extensive Taco Bell talk that doesn’t have to do with Cyclospora. 

Episode 875 – American Wedding (2003)

Someone hit the Stifler button too hard. Andrew, Eric, Chris, and Steve got their suit-jackets on and headed over to the nuptials of Jason Biggs’ Jim and Alison Hannigan’s flute-fucking bride-to-be, Michelle. Did Eugene Levy and Fred Willard need multiple surgeries after carrying this movie on their damn backs? Where is the fraternal warmth of the first one? Could these movies possibly benefit from an opening scroll of some kind? Plus, the thrilling penultimate episode of this season’s VHS Trailer Game!!!

Episode 876 – Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) 

The boys went international with Tom Holland’s Night Monkey and found themselves in a battle for the future of the Avengers with Jake Gyllenhaal’s Mysterio. Does Gyllenhaal steal this whole movie away? What’s with all the no-thrill, pointless S.H.I.E.L.D. material? Could you find a more boring villain than the Elementals, fake or not? Also, a WHM Deep Conversation about proper manners and ethics in regards to airplane bathrooms.

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies-related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: 

Batman (1989): Caught this on 70MM at Film Linc at the start of July and what a way to kick off the month. The print was stunning and it was the first time I’d ever seen the film on a big screen. Absent some dipshit hilariously spilling chili all over himself during a NYFF P&I, I’m certain this will be my cinema-going event of the year.

Ghost Ship (2002): I mean, yeah, it’s stupid, but man, that cold open is exquisite. Gonna push for this to be a WHM Season 17 Stay Tuned for sure. 

In the Mouth of Madness (1994): Truly one of Carpenter’s most underrated. The Arrow 4K looks great and it’s mixed loud as fuck with that Carpenter score too, hot damn. RIP Sam Neill, you will be missed.

Over Your Dead Body (2026): I try to catch anything Jorma Taccone does and this was a lot of fun. It definitely went a ton of places I didn’t think it would, especially with all the ramped up violence— Taccone does a good job balancing the comedy with violence to near-Raimi levels of success in parts. Samara Weaving and Jason Segel have great chemistry and both commit to the bit full-on. It’s an EC Comics-type story that just heightens and heightens. Lotta fun. 

Evita (1996): In anticipation of the upcoming Broadway run of the new production of the stage musical, I checked this out for the first time with my wife, who was re-watching, and I have to say, it’s not as bad as some of the snide comments I’ve heard over the years would have me believe. The problem was with hiring Alan Parker to direct. The dude was a journeyman director who, yes, had directed musicals before, but he filmed this musical as a very traditional, straight-forward, historical drama, and I thought that decision really clashed against the coke-fueled mania that is the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber. You needed a director with a bit more flair to match Webber’s own brand of big, Big, BIG. Madonna innocent, frankly. 

Speed Racer (2008): I don’t agree with all popular film re-evaluations, but I’m more than happy to get behind this one. I was totally wrong about this movie when it came out; as usual, the Wachowskis were ahead of us all with this film. Like I said on Letterboxd, it belongs in the same conversation with things like Dick Tracy and Ang Lee’s Hulk, two films that are super-successful at feeling like you’re watching cartoons or comics really come to life on the screen. This is a live action cartoon — as opposed to a live action adaptation of a cartoon — if that makes sense. If it doesn’t, check out the movie again and see for yourself. Best screened with a heaping helping of the Devil’s Lettuce for good measure. And yeah, at least The Devil’s lettuce won’t give you explosive diarrhea… 

Chris: 

Her Private Hell (2026): Count me as a boring-ass centrist when it comes to the notorious NWR, the absolute king of 3.5/5 movies for me. His latest is no different: fun to watch, stylish and bloody, filled with magnetic bodies and faces, pretty stupid yet not distractingly so, and relatively fleet-footed as compared to many films of its ilk. Sophie Thatcher, one of many standouts in Showtime’s excellent “Lord of the Flies” reimagining, Yellowjackets, does very well in the lead with some intriguing supporting turns from the likes of the great Charles Melton, Dougray Scott, Havana Rose Liu, and Drive My Car’s Hidetoshi Nishijima. If the violence is never as visceral as in Drive or Only God Forgives, Her Private Hell does succeed in creating a distinct world separate from Refn’s usual urban hellscapes, dreamier and eerier altogether. Not highly suggested, but mildly suggested.

The Rain People (1969): It shouldn’t come as a surprise really that the least talked-about Coppola movie of his miracle run - it precedes The Godfather by three years - is quietly one of his very best. I can imagine some people having a hair-trigger reaction to James Caan’s character in this, a former football player whose injuries have given him serious brain damage, but the performance is so sensitive and surprising in its emotional currents, so far away from the cutesy sentimentality that paints such characters, that I can’t find a real problem with it. More notable is Shirley Knight’s extraordinary lead performance as a pregnant housewife who abandons her marriage and responsibilities to go out in the world and find her own desired responsibilities, only to be waylaid by Caan’s “Killer” Kilgannon, Robert Duvall’s aggressive single-parent cop, and desperate calls from her soon-to-be ex-husband Vinny (Robert Modica). Coppola sprinkles in tragic and insightful memories that drive Knight’s Natalie into a fervor of indecision and regret that make it even more difficult to figure out what she might want from a new life, and smartly does not end the film with any kind of clear answer to that query. A masterpiece or something awfully close in my approximation.

Smiley Face Killers (2020): Tim Hunter is one of the more undervalued indie directors to stick around since the 1980s, having helmed early cult hits like River’s Edge and 1982’s Tex, starring a young and quite excellent Matt Dillon. The director is otherwise mostly known for TV movies and VOD whatsits, ranging from Nic Cage vehicles (Looking Glass) to 90’s would-be prestige pictures (The Saint of Fort Washington) to half-disposable crime joints (The Maker, Control), but in 2020, he released this beguiling and surprisingly unnerving horror film about a series of kidnappings and murders that come to center on a soccer player named Jake. Hunter smartly plays up mood and paranoia over gushing blood and gore but he doesn’t skimp on the violence when its time to get down to business, and he genuinely keeps you on edge about what exactly is going to happen to Jake and his friends from scene to scene. A few more kills would have bumped this up to inarguable hidden-gem status but regardless, there are so few horror films these days that are not deeply predictable and made to remind viewers of other (often better) movies, I feel moved to go to bat for this one. Also, a Crispin Glover cameo!

The Menendez Brothers (2024): Free those boys now! No, seriously, this will make you feel insane for ever thinking they deserved the sentences they got, and a good reminder that we were demonic as a society for most of the 90s and mostly still are. Bring them home!

Eric:

Coneheads (1993): I liked this movie when I first saw it as a kid on Comedy Central and for me it still hits. I don't understand the extreme hate this movie gets. Sure, it's a little one note with the alien joke but it is full of wall-to-wall comedy royalty. You'll forget Sinbad is in here! By the way, Chris Farley's Ronnie character is something you can't do today. Dude is an adult mechanic working on Mr. Conehead's car and then just starts dating his high school aged daughter??? That ain't right! 

Dunkirk (2017): Might be my lowest Nolan now that I've rewatched it. I remember liking it more on release. One thing I do love about this is how the Germans are never really shown, instead we get that true horror of war - you get shot at and run away. You don't necessarily even see where it's coming from. I would've liked the multiple characters paired down and focused on but it's still a good movie. 

Black Magic (1975): This is in the 4th volume of Shawscope and I really did not expect to see a man milk multiple women's breasts.You see, you need the human breast milk for dark magick. Could've been better over all. 

The Ninth Gate (1999): Really dug this when I saw it in the theater and never got the hate. Rewatched it on 4K (which doesn't look that good) and it is a great slow burn that manages to make books cool. Go back and watch the trailers and TV spots for this. It's insane they marketed it the way they did, maybe that is what caused people to hate it? Anyway, yes, Polanski is evil, etc. 

The Cannonball Run (1981): It's not really summer until you watch a sweaty-ass Burt Reynolds movie. This is pretty much 1981's Ready Player One. What if Smokey and the Bandit, James Bond, the Rat Pack, Jackie Chan, and Easy Rider were all in the same movie together? It turns out when your movie is mostly just introducing 100 characters it isn't very compelling. There's some charm here, some good gags, some bad, and some that don't age well.  Decent enough summer background noise.

Steve: 

Tenet (2020): No sir. I still don’t like it. I finally finished my Nolan rankings on Letterboxd with this one as the last hurdle. I felt I owed it a re-watch ever since it came out because I wasn’t sure how much quarantine madness clouded my judgement. Well, it still kinda sucks. Listen, I will admit that the set pieces are huge and exciting, but I just need a story, folks. I truly do. I think John David Washington was awesome in BlacKkKlansman, but this was a very awkward fit and it’s pretty clear he doesn’t understand a word he’s saying (I don’t blame him!) and he’s just not that kind of actor. Robert Pattinson is equally confused (and has said as such publicly) but can fake the funk better than Washington can. It’s fun at parts and stupid at parts and stupid ultimately wins the day.

Blue Heron (2025): Now that Chris Cabin is mad at me again, I’ll pay him a compliment and thank him for nudging me to finally watch Blue Heron because he said it was his favorite movie of the year, and as of this writing I think it’s mine, too. There’s a quality to certain understated movies about childhood where you as an audience member grit your teeth ready for a big manipulative moment and that was the case with the first 10 minutes or so of this movie, but thankfully, there’s so much more here and this movie is in no way that cheap. I don’t want to say too much as it’s still relatively new, but this is a must see and it’s moved me more than any film I can remember in a good long while. 

Across 110th Street (1972): I often put in “70’s Crime Movies” into a search engine when I’m stuck on what to watch by myself and I’m really glad I got to this one. Friend of the show, Jamelle Bouie recommended it a long time ago and I filed it, and mis-filed it, and finally got around to it. Hot damn is this a great NYC 70’s crime picture. Anthony Quinn stars as a pretty racist cop in Harlem (I say pretty racist because in the ‘70s he was portrayed as kind of less-racist than the rest) who gets paired up with Yaphet Kotto to find a trio of robbers before the Mob does. This has without a doubt my favorite machine gun action of any motion picture this side Heat. 

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from

Jed from Somerset, Kentucky who asks:

“Hi folks! With school starting next month for many students across the country, what are your go-to movies set at school?”

Andrew: I guess The Breakfast Club is a basic bitch answer, but I dig on the movie, nostalgia be damned. Here are a couple more school-set films I enjoy: 10 Things I Hate About You, Scream (1996), Dazed and Confused, A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), and you know what, shout out to Olivia Wilde’s Booksmart, a funny flick set in (and around) high school that I feel gets forgotten because everyone hated Don’t Worry Darling so much, however, with folks responding well to The Invite, I thought I’d toss that in also.

Chris: If we’re talking high school, my longtime go-to is Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, a one-wild-night comedic odyssey that feels equally indebted to the long lineage of American teen comedies and Eric Rohmer joints. We’re well over 50 on the watch count on that one, and I still find new stuff to give texture and contour to Linklater’s sublime vision. For college, I am partial to Terry Zwigoff’s oft-maligned, actually quite excellent Art School Confidential, Noah Baumbach’s brilliant Kicking and Screaming, and of course, PCU. You could also go the doc route and do a trio of major Frederick Wiseman joints: High School, High School II, and At Berkeley, each one a masterpiece.Eric: Back to School starring Rodney Dangerfield. Here's another: Previous episode Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which is actually not set in a school but about avoiding school. I also recommend avoiding school. It's fun to do sometimes! I saw both of these on what felt like repeat while growing up. 

Steve: Lotta good ones off the board, so I’ll go in a different direction. Three bonkers action movies where teachers kill their students (in one way or another) all previous episodes: The Substitute, The Principal, and Only the Strong. Three insane movies that take high school to practically parody levels, with all manner of karate, pipe bombs, shotguns and the like. Great stuff.

AUGUST SCHEDULE

Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out for August:

Free Feed:

August 4th  – King Ralph (1991) Live in Oxford, UK

August 11th – Total Recall (1990) Live in Brooklyn, featuring the Finale of the Season 16 VHS Trailer Game!

August 18th – Broken Arrow (1996) Live in Los Angeles

August 25th – Conan: The Barbarian (1982) Live in Minneapolis

Patreon Episodes:

August 6th – We Love Movies: Pulp Fiction (1994)

August 13th  – Animation Damnation: Smiling Friends (2020):  “Desmond’s Big Day Out (s1, e1) & “Enchanted Forest” (s1, e6)

August 14th  – The Gleep Glossary: Droma

August 20th – The Nexus: TNG: “Unification I & II”(s5, e6 & e7) 

August 21st –  MELR0210: 90210: “Strangers in the Night” (s4, e6) Melrose Place: “And the Winner Is…” (s3, e22)

August 25th at 8pm EST – WHM After Dark: Come with your questions at the ready and spend an hour hanging out with the gang!

August 27th – Once In a Lifetime: A Lifeguard’s Obsession (2023) 

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

In case you missed it we opened our Patreon Shop we released the previously unavailable Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter virtual live show for purchase on our Patreon shop! This was such a fun show and it'll be awesome to revisit or experience for the first time as you get to talk us gab about (one of) the best entries in the Friday the 13th canon! You get a new introduction recorded by us, the show from that night, and an audio file of the whole thing so you can enjoy the show again on the go!

You’re keeping up with our Youtube channel, right? On-Screen Live just wrapped up for the summer, but we’ve been kicking ass bi-weekly at Noon EST, subscribe now so you don’t miss it! We’ve covered a lot of great Summer movies already like The Odyssey, Evil Dead Burn, Disclosure Day, Backrooms, Obsession, and Supergirl and we just had a great interview with writer/director Adam Meeks & producer (and friend of the show) Sean Weiner about their upcoming movie Union County! Keep your eyes peeled on the Youtube channel to see when we’re coming back later this autumn, and to keep up with all our great content!

Also, speaking of Video Content, are you aware We Hate Movies is on TikTok? We are @whmpodcast! We’ve got some kick-ass short form videos releasing there, on the aforementioned Youtube page, and of course on Instagram! These are short, super fun ways to relive your favorite bit and share on these platforms to get new folks into the show too! All credit for these amazing videos goes to @gnarcissist on TikTok! 

Hooked on T.J. Hooker has another classic ep in the books and this time Stacy is almost murdered! Like those True Crime Podcasts you folks like. Listen here!

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our new and improved merch store on Dashery! We have some new, super fun designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Total Recall Live show logo, a pair of vaguely gross ones like “Hot Out the Hole” and “The Coin Slot” and the Barbarian Scaredycats design! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill!  There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch. See you next month for the start of Season 17 (hachi machi!)!!

Take it easy,Andrew, Chris, Eric, and SteveWe Hate Movies