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In a special preview of this week's TMT quack month episode, Mrs. Pearlmania explains Jillian Michael's recipe for a Reuben Sandwich. This recipe is evil, it is necromancy, it is a nightmare. Under no circumstances should any listener attempt to make this recipe as it is a terrible experience crafted by a bad person.

All of our music was written and performed by His Name Was Dusk you can find all of his projects, music and more here: https://linktr.ee/hisnamewasdusk

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None Taken Podcast

A disgrace to the true American classic. Reuben Kulakofsky would be rolling in his Omaha grave if he knew

Katrina_McBean_Kerfuffle_Kween

My only Jillian Michaels memory is that K-Swiss ad: Kenny Powers: And for director of community outreach I got the ultimate people person, Jillian Michaels. Jillian Michaels: You wanna look like a burrito in your prom dress. Huh blondie? Bleed bitch, bleed!

Trent Danger Savage

I regularly have to tell people at my work, if what you are looking for is a real Reuben you need to go somewhere else. We serve corned beef, kraut and thousand island on a sub roll. Shit’s delicious, but it’s not a Reuben lmao

Ariella Wheeler

Respectfully, I haven't listened to the episode yet and i'm slightly disturbed by the sauerkraut to meat ratio in the thumbnail pic 🤣

Stuck in Koala Kanyan

I've never felt more connected to Pearlmania than I do right now. I also hate pickles 🤢

Bubsey_Wubsey_Has_No_Hair

Okay, so Indianapolis is my hometown and Shapiro’s IS KNOWN for their Reuben. I’m not a corned beef fan, so I’ve never had one but my family RAVES about them

Arlo the Average

Mr P’s monologue at the end was simultaneously hilarious and very unpleasant to listen to with headphones on

MY_CATS_ARE_ORANGE

I’ve never been creeped out by Mr. P until this episode. That sandwich monologue was…..😳

Pariah Carey

I used to eat low fat Swiss cheese when I was "weird with food" and let me tell you, that shit does not melt especially the presliced kind.

TitanOlaf

I went and got a real Reuben because of the horrors of this episode

Lorelana

You need all that sauerkraut to give the sandwich some moisture, because you aren't getting it from the minimal low-fat cheese and dressing.

Pariah Carey

This recipe reminds me of 2007 when my friends and I used to buy spray salad dressing. It wasn't an aerosol sprayer, just raspberry vinaigrette in a spritz bottle so you didn't "overdo it" on salad dressing. What a time.

Desantis’s.Sleep.Paralysis.Demon.

Yesterday was my birthday and I had a fatass Ruben with the pumpernickel rye bread (I’m a slut for a good bread) and the best corned beef from the Jewish deli in town. I fuck so heavy with Rubens and this episode raised my blood pressure more than any amount of corned beef will.

Kayla_from_delaware

I did, in fact, follow a hippie to a second location and I’m definitely not leaving.

Morris Fishbein Fan Club

Jillian Michaels: Struggling to lose the last 10-20 lbs? Here is an awful Rueben sandwich recipe that will make you not want to eat ever again. 😘

💚Ash💚

I forgot the existence of icbinb after my mom got off the spray kick. She used it for popcorn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and then had a flashback to when they had a collab web series with wishbone dressing. I looked it up and it's called "sprays in the city".

Brittaney Phillips

Agreed! I could almost visualize the closed captioning on a show 🤣 [squelching noises]

AugieLovesPenny

When I taught my niece one of my family recipes, she asked me how much mayo to add. I replied, “Enough.” Her sigh of frustration had me howling. 😆

Lovexash

Mrs. P was on a mission to ruin Mr. P’s day.

Pearlmania500

He yelled about this sandwich for hours after recording lol ~Mrs.P

Grittys_baby_daddy_Fishbine

Few different thoughts: Now I want to hear Mrs. P describe how to make pastrami. As someone who grew up with Jillian Michael's being lauded as a role model (and watching biggest looser on a weekly basis!) The hate for her warms my heart and heals a little bit of my inner teen

BugTheLady_Alissa

I love that mrs. P was like August is my month and I’m not gonna let you forget it no matter what show you’re listening to

Nicole Matta

God I forgot about biggest loser. I watched reruns of that a lot 😖😖😖

Pearlmania500

Our inner teens were at the forefront of my mind when I wrote this Sunday’s episode, I hope I can bring us all a little catharsis from what the early 2000’s diet culture did to us ~ Mrs.P

✨Sparkling Misandry✨

I've done that PB&J assignment so many times with middle schoolers and also with teachers, and it never stops being hilarious 🤣

✨Sparkling Misandry✨

Sitting there talking about how low-fat cheese is in abomination and then you put sweet & low in your tea? CANCELED lol

Mrs._P's_Slug_Tongs

The dance I do to your theme song is so embarrassing yet I do it every time in my freezer at work. Justice for the book club theme song

GinaBoBina

Ahhhh yes. The PB&J writing exercise. My 6th grade teacher had us do that 30 years ago. Glad to hear it's still being taught in school. That was a core memory for me because it was such a fun day 🥰

Overeasylikeyourmom

As a connoisseur of reubens, this is just an abomination. My pregnant self raged throughout this episode. Officially she is an enemy of the pod

David Burrows

What's the opinion on a chopped/shredded Reuben sandwich? Basically it's still all the ingredients of a traditional Reuben, but the corned beef is shredded and mixed together with the sauerkraut and dressing, spread on rye, topped with Swiss and toasted. That's how I always remember my family making Reubens, but the sliced corned beef was the differentiator.

Alex Pearlman is lame

You should have tried the Rueben at the Deli in Indianapolis. They are really good at the actual Deli. I’m not sure about the airport though. I’m sorry you’ve had to have two shitty days in Indianapolis. I do this shit everyday. Sincerely, someone currently having a shitty day in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Shelby

why does indianapolis keep catching strays on this pod 😭

Better Than Drinking

I used to date a guy in St. Lucia and he taught me to “cook with vibes” lol so I say that all the time. Its like freestyle cooking based on what you have and what you like

Better Than Drinking

I notice Alex pronounces it “samwich” …. I’m an enunciation nerd. Who else pronounces the “nd” in sandwich?

Mad Mads Kasperagus

Did y'all know one of the origin stories of the Reuben is a hotel in Omaha, NE?

Insomnia Doodles

As an Indiana resident I can wholeheartedly say we deserve it lol

Katelyn Miller

Just looked at Libby's corned beef on my local Walmart app, $4.97 😭

Just_a_tried_teacher_from_maine

I did the peanut butter sandwich direction before with my 8th graders it was hilarious. One kid knew what it was for so wrote the worse directions for just the pure chaos of it haha

Just_a_tried_teacher_from_maine

Also I have a cornbeef currently sitting in my fridge waiting to me to make it for a Ruben! So excited!!

Buttmunchmcgee

Listen. The only things open in the terminal were Shapiros and Starbucks, so there wasn't even a question. It was indeed disappointing.