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0139 — The Chiropractor (Patreon)

Published:
2025-08-15 17:00:13
Imported:
2025-08
Tags:

Content

Posting two hours after this, in tiers 2 & 3, is an 8-page, step-by-step look at the production of a strip. If you haven't dipped up into the broader-universe stuff, please treat yourself to a month! Nearly 400 extra pieces await you there.

What do we think Ray's mom's website is or does? She's not a real estate agent, as far as we know. It's not clear that she offers coaching of any sort, and it's doubtful she'd be into an MLM. Is it just Sondra brochureware, because she considers it polite to have a website? Please say your ideas, but then also type them in below.

Files

Comments

Josh Egbert

Sondra thinks its high time Ray's business of sending cards to children who had to get operations on Christmas has its own website as its such a lovely idea.

Pubdoggy

It is analogue manners in a digital world .com

Bob the Fish Productions

Have you not experienced any of the following, ever, for a single attosecond of your life

ReefRat

Rodney Leonard Stubbs fansite

Vincent Verweij

A cool 6 hundo says this is going to lead to Ray wanting to start a verbal chiropractor business, fixing people with Old Time Manners.

b.zap

pop

Bruce Wright

Fun fact: "The founder of chiropractic, DD Palmer, claimed that he had received the message of chiropractic from a deceased spirit-being from the other world known to him as ‘Dr Jim Atkinson’." I quote from the landmark study "DD Palmer's link to Spiritualism" by Wiggins & Engel.

Brian Sutton

Sondra's webpage is an 80MB BMP image showing 1/3 of her head and a guestbook link that takes you directly to stocks Ray has lost money on.

Achewood

Catchy, yet informative. She could be the voice social media needs.

Achewood

Childrenwithoperationsscheduledforchristmas.biz

Condorito

Times are hard. Sondra getting that OF cash

jordan b.

pop a REALM of spine, Beef.

Achewood

I was hoping nobody would go there…but OF can be anything right? She could naively set up an account to demonstrate her Wedgwood china collections or something. Wait, this sounds like hijinx! Dammit!

Achewood

Oh man this is the winner so far

Condorito

I want this to be true so badly that I refuse to fact check it

Andy Kopas

website is to advertise her bachelor son ray for a suitable wife, hence ray looking for any chance to not have to continue working on it

Josh Egbert

Oh this is great. "Ray, what is OF? I want to join to earn money for my church" "Uhhh gee Mom, OF is uhhhh... it stands for Only Family. Its a site that helps people not bring strangers to family gatherings"

Bruce Wright

It's true, and stay away from these joint-poppers if you want to live.

Achewood

Isn’t it weird how they call the field “chiropractic” instead of something normal like chiropracty or chiropractology. I learned this on Wednesday, at a …chiropractic?

Achewood

Touchless Healing, like a car wash, but for the squeamish

Achewood

Today everybody but Matthew Harris learned the term Attosecond. Look for it in an upcoming roomba cinema about Oppenheimer.

Matt Mitchell

Haha the old “they’ve been there the whole time, just out of frame” bit. A particular fave of mine.

Achewood

This also has legs. She is NOT buying this “apps” way of finding one’s True.

Derek Adams

I've always been anti-chiro, but a former partner once suggested theirs to me and I was like "okay, maybe I look past the woo and see if it helps" but then I read their brochure and it was all about chakras and I decided if they weren't going to at least pretend to be medicine I wasn't going to pretend to be open-minded about it

Dan W

May they leave flowers?

Peter Berard

She can’t let that awful Grace Jones have the internet all to herself.

Nate

Ray's mom is more professional and efficacious than any chiropractor, canon.

Bruce Wright

Israel Regardie was enthusiastic about chiro and he was an actual sorcerer. What more proof do we need?

Oppido

The rock group Everything Everything (great band, terrible name) used the word "attosecond" in a song many years ago, which is the only reason I know it. It's like... a second, but tinier.

GruntyGinMan

It's Sondra's biblical cookbook I reckon

Oppido

Congratulations to Beef on his upcoming 5-8 years of flogging himself for having Cursed in front of Mrs. Smuckles.

Achewood

I know this treads dangerously into “traditional” comics formats, but I had fun trying it. Next week a big argument ends in the middle and pat is sent to Mars for hammering his fist on a table.

Achewood

I guess there are different types. Some chiro is just straight-up western seeming. The chakra people just want to think about your booty

Achewood

A site which is a force against grace jones! That so strong.

Achewood

I don’t know man, my new chiro has a laser beam that looks like a cheap karaoke machine

Achewood

Adapted to allow for Unitarians, and even her friend “Nisha who does Hindu”

Matt Mitchell

Haa. I was serious though, I love that device, it always tickles me. One can always do any number of avant-garde takes on traditional devices.

@misterjayem

The website? Her considered and factual corrections of New York Times recipes.

Zen Window

i imagine mrs smuckles just has extra mothering to share with those who might be a little deficient for a very modest price and shes not there to be anyones mommy shes dispensing life lessons if someone happens to enjoy that privately in the traditional onlyfans manner without involving mrs smuckles that just works out well for everyone

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Possibly her website could be a sort of blog like "Sondra Says" wherein she puts forth pithy mom wisdom. Nice photos of tasteful gardens, etc. Seems like an acute burst of shame is the only spinal manipulation Beef really needs. (BTW I agree, chiropracty is pretty much malarkey, especially for cats)

Achewood

Oh that one goes right to the grave, do not pass Redemption, do not sleep soundly.

Achewood

She doesn’t need no kenji Lopez alt to tell her you can put cream of tartar in apple turnover dough to increase tenderness but not compromise structural integrity, dammit

Achewood

Mom wisdom, mainly about how to manage husky and immature boys who have too much money.

Grant's Tomb

SONDRA SMUCKLES OFF THE TOP ROPE!

Tom P

My understanding is that there are chiropractors who are basically doing spine adjustment and rehab (even conventional mainstream science says it can help with back pain) and there are chiropractors who would like for you to replace the water in your body with their special harmonically adjusted FengWater (source: Mr. Feng's house tap plus 1 gram per liter of magnesium salts)

blair

An online numbers station.

Joshua M

I always assumed Sondra lived off of a prudently-invested divorce and child support settlement, and that the reason Ramses is so itinerant is that he has had to make many such settlements.

Jasen Johns

She just posts pictures of glasses of chablis and rates them.

Achewood

Now that hulk’s dead, it’s time for dignity and gentility to rule the ring. And verbal-only pile drivers.

Achewood

She’s old southern money. I have a full GOF spinoff designed based on her, …if only the GOF had taken off.

Crumbles

Prior to this scene, Ray had to insist 3 times that his mother sit in the "good chair." Such is the requirement for side-seat IT support.

Marc Harkness

Beef all looking like he's playing serious air guitar here.

Abby

Completely agree!

Achewood

Ray’s never sat in that chair. It’s from a Danish office furniture company and has seven different pneumatic levers.

Achewood

Idea for next week’s strip: copy-paste in the Rickenbacker

Achewood

Plus Mr Feng has a side hustle selling repotted succulents from Kroger in little crappy projects the pottery studio throws away

Elyse Renée

I feel like Sondra has a no-nonsense blog that’s basically Gordon Ramsay level takedowns of restaurants, shops, and hotels that have not met her exacting standards. She’s not overly mean but she’s not pulling any punches. How else will they learn?

Achewood

This all makes me wonder if Sondra and Cornelius would find an…understanding.

Ian Stewart

I was inordinately curious about the briefly-suggested parallel universe in Everything Everywhere All At Once where Jamie Lee Curtis' character is still a successful pro wrestler in her 70s

Achewood

I don’t know who that is but if more men attempted sorcery it could only be good for this world. (Sorcery does not mean jumping off your garage onto a trampoline)

Achewood

Apparently it’s so tiny only an electron has this hand on its Bulova.

Bruce Wright

Sorry, used to room with a Crowleyite magician, picked up a lot of trivia

Jay Williams

Love this! I rather like the idea that Mrs. Smuckles is running a string of agents all over the world and communicating with them using 8-bit samples of the Lincolnshire Poacher and a seemingly random array of numbers. But that would require more web skills than Ray would be capable of, what with the need for tight security and all. However, it would be right up Beef’s (aka The Quiet Digressor) alley- maybe Beef steps up to handle the security in a future panel? What would these agents be doing? Keeping a constant eye on That Horrible Grace Jones? Or maybe Showbiz? The possibilities are endless…

Achewood

Ah, I like this as an "outlet" for her. Maybe it's under a nom de guerre.

Achewood

Ray ain't no Alan Turing. He ain't even asexual a *tiny* amount. But he is a huge Cumberbatchhead, fwiw. CANON.

blair

A spy thing. In its classic form, a short-wave station broadcasts coded messages to agents at a specified time and frequency, who decode them with a "one-time pad" cipher that's never used again. Sondra's may be the old-skool WWII kind where such as the BBC would broadcast messages disguised as personal ads ("Uncle Doug has sciatica" tells somebody in France to blow up a certain bridge pronto) only it's stock tips for the ladies she plays canasta with.

Ed C.

I think it's a website for her Family Office. Just a simple placeholder with contact information and some stock photos so they don't have to leave the URL field blank in various forms.

Omnithea

Thank you Mrs. Smuckles.

Achewood

I know we all want this to be true, but unless she's revealed to be a GOF operative on a massive grift, which is likely, it seems unlikely.

Achewood

But, you know, password protected. From that awful Grace Jones.

Clench and Cheese

if she's actually going to replace chiropractic then beef is going to need to come see her twice a week for the rest of his life

Clench and Cheese

somehow it strikes me that it would be somewhere between a bead store and a toaster cozy

Zen Window

i imagine connie with a much younger woman than mrs smuckles and no im not going to pull on that particular mental sweater thread too hard to understand why

Nate

I'm forecasting EOB charges for "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Juke Box Hero"

Achewood

ZW: I like to think Connie would appreciate a woman of long-earned wisdom and years. Perhaps he will Leave Flowers soon...

Achewood

The Only Family lie is a delight

Miles McMahon

Whatever the website is, you KNOW it is all in HTML and there's some broken redirects, bless her heart

Andy Jennings

Erm... I thought "brochureware" was a nonsense term my employer made up for their website. That's actually a thing?

zaratustra

I used to have pain in one of my ribs. But I went to a chiropractor, and after just half an hour, I had pain in *two* of my ribs!

Achewood

Even at that rate he’d never feel like he could repair his reputation in her eyes

Achewood

Mama Smuckles don’t brook no busted code! Maybe Beef can redeem himself fixing whatever Ray is breaking.

Achewood

Been a phrase since I was building brochureware sites in the 90s!

Achewood

Their job is only to create balance and symmetry.

J. Alex

The Smuckles family wealth, apart from the cash, is in pure authority.

Nate

Chris, I want you to be honest to yourself, me, the lord, and Goku. You didn't post a song with no lyrics for karaoke. You just wanted us all to enjoy this excellent song (that modulated sequence by the trumpet? Insane) and be impressed with your eclectic musical taste. It worked, but the opacity of your subtlety is lacking in the same way that a bay window does not conceal the outdoors. 😆 (Edit: on further review, it could be a saxophone that plays the sequence)

usagisteve

Two can play the sobriquet rouge game

lake

I think she’s getting back into the dating scene and is making a landing page for gentlemen callers to check out.

Achewood

So like more dignified than an app or VHS dating service (which was the first thing she would have looked for...I wonder if she has one of those old blurry VHS profile tapes on a shelf in some warehouse)

Achewood

Sondra and Ramses both had it in spades. No wonder game recognized game. They wouldn't want to make progeny that risked having no authority. Yet, their own son has an admittedly different version of it than either of them.

Achewood

That's the term I was looking for...

Achewood

You got me, Nate. I always enjoy that old ruse. And, I believe it's a clarinet. It was a clarinetist doing that part on the Bob Wallis & His Storyville Jazzmen version of this I used to have on CD.

Strange Matter (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-20 10:00 I was just thinking about how I am exactly like beef with respect to people who want pain in numbers and when mrs. smuckles yelled at him I totally felt that but it didn't fix any of my injuries.
2025-08-17 05:52

Earl Hickey

She strikes me as a buyer for like one of the main classy mall stores, like Carson Pirie Scott. Now the malls are gone but she makes some dough predicting fashion trends as a consultant.

cody

Ha! I’m struggling (and failing) to think of another recent occurrence of this off-panel setup around here, so either it’s pretty rare or my memory is just for show, but the point is its (perceived?) rarity made it very effective on me; genuinely caught me unawares.

A. Hamster

I think if Sondra is old southern money, then the website is devoted to her genealogy (especially if she was like a Byrd, Carter, or Lee) and maybe also has pictures of her inherited plantation which is now a museum.

Ruxine

I am exactly like beef with respect to people who want pain in numbers (the insurance company needs the numbers, but the number they're asking for is a debunked practice and also fuck insurance companies) and when mrs. smuckles yelled at him I totally felt that but it didn't fix any of my injuries.

Achewood

We're talking about setting up a toll line you can call and get yelled at by a recording of Ray's mom. I hope this helps.

Achewood

All advising on Coldwater Creek's more boho lines, on the down low

Achewood

Success! I know it's a tired old technique, but if I really haven't used it in approximately 1800 strips before now, well, hooray for both of us.

Achewood

Ah yes, genealogy sites were like the first thing that got olds online back in Internet 1.0. If Achewood ever had a spinoff, it would be the Sondra Smuckles story.

Achewood

Tim From New Hampshire: oh my god they're all dead now

Taylor

Ray thinks he has authority, which probably is at least 50% of what having authority is

Minivet

She's rich but it's not liquid, so in the finest English/Southern tradition, she's allowing tours and rentals of her estate. The site will not disclose her name (the house is named after her own family which as we know is not the Smuckles).

rickward

Damn I needed that

rickward

Also RB greatly resembles Taffy Sanders, who I assume is making some money off of esports but has physio issues that a sharp rebuke about empathy won’t fix