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0152 — The Dark Roast (Patreon)

Published:
2025-11-14 18:00:17
Imported:
2025-11
Tags:

Content

Panel Two is synaptic transmission. Here, at the eleventh hour, I suddenly lost faith in the clarity of my rendering. But trust me, that is some high-gain molecules passing from the not-effective-place to the effective-place. If you instead thought it was a Chuck Jones horse hoof stomping snow into an unlit Sousaphone, I say to you: start your own comic strip, because you have got the wiring to seize my throne, friend.

The B-roll strip version of this strip lands, as ever, at noon Pacific in Tiers 2 & 3. And if you're looking for a big preview of all the things that show up in the higher tiers, please check out this new newsletter I put together with lots of free samples!

Files

Comments

Josh Egbert

Oh. Oh my. Quite a turn being taken here.

Achewood

Don't worry, Germany is going to love this.

Omnithea

This is Ray's fault in the general sense.

Achewood

Hhahhh-h-h-haha-hjjjhajjajaajjhhajka-ka-a-ak-k---ahhha!

JR Heard

i got the synapses w no explanation dont worry

Achewood

You, my friend, must have some well-maintained synapses then.

Josh Egbert

Yeah those dudes love a roast

Achewood

He touched something Todd had touched. Cross-contamination rule #1 broken.

Douglas Wykstra

It turns out Todd is not actually a tiny bit classy.

Anthony Thompson

Sousaphones hate this one weird trick! NOT LYING THIS TIME

Omnithea

Next comes the Qualuuden's Cough drops.

Bruce Wright

Ha! I was just finishing my second Nespresso as I opened this. Those machines are seriously addictive.

Achewood

Apologies to those who had hope. But also, no apologies for those who did that.

Ian Stewart

Uh oh, is this magical realism methamphetamine? There's three words that should never appear in sequence

Achewood

It was a big fad in the 19-teens, tooting a loud Sousa-toot and having a tiny flurry of snow shoot out.

Achewood

I am currently searching for a bluetooth one I can use at my chair when flying

denv_eric

The long-awaited Meth-ican magical realism arc.

Achewood

I think those three words just collapse back into "methamphetamine." We can't blame Hecho en México for this one. The typeface would suggest it's a product assembled in China.

Achewood

BOOM there it is! I didn't even see that one coming. Fine work.

Andrea M

I recognized the synapse! You may remember me as the nerdy massage therapist who gave you stretches to do.

Bungus Bronbo

WELL maybe Ray's good luck medallion turning into a pentagram and him getting into coffee the way meth gets into a bloodstream could be a good thing!

emitydna

panel 4 is an all-timer, nice work

Achewood

I am healed! I did hours of stretching, thank you for the gentle push. I also appreciate that whole iliac/etc conversation about mechanically correct technique for cartoon cats.

TaxoBob

Now wondering about lit sousaphones

Achewood

You just have to have optimism!

Bruce Wright

Where all the best drugs come from!

Pasi Jouhikainen

The appealing amount of body horror here gives me hope that next week’s installment will have Ray inserting a fresh pod into a capsule-shaped cavity that has appeared in his abdomen.

Dan Gibbins

The Toddification of Ray has begun

Achewood

Thanks! This was me imagining meth while high on airplane coffee at 30,000 feet.

Achewood

After the kids tire of cottage-core, Sousa-core can only follow. An entire scene based around this invented horn.

Achewood

Oh man, like the main Avengers boss guy! Tony Stark, I just remembered his name. Perhaps Jorg-Dieter has a terrible device which crosses living beings with Nespresso machines.

jordan b.

was *not* expecting Ray Ray Ray Ray Q. Smuckles.

Jay Y

Methspresso. The Hottest Toddy.

jordan b.

also I always imagined Todd's voice like Helium Joe Pesci, but I don't know how that would transfer.

Achewood

He goes by Spider now. Or Wrecking Ball. He can't remember. Can't remember.

Jay Y

Known crazy Finnish inventor Raymo Smookels is unlikely to take meth exploits to the level his countryman Aimo Koivunen did during WW2. (don't mind me, the telemarketer bit burred its way into my brain and someone here mentioned Pervitin within the last few weeks)

b.zap

bonebonebonebonebonebonebone

Achewood

There was a vivid passage about Pervitin's use by the nazis in "When We Cease to Understand The World." A captivating and speedy read overall, that one, highly recommended.

Achewood

Hey, no spoilers for next week please

Walter Cooke

Certainly where all the best Yunnan pu'er tea comes from!

Oppido

Another fine installment of Ahcewood.

Andrea M

Oh shit I am so happy to hear that!!! I actually meant to tell you to look into diaphragm release, I was thinking that could be tight from the twisting motion of golfing, and sometimes a tight diaphragm can cause middle and low back pain. It'll also just help you breathe easier, especially if you're doing physical activity like running. Here's a video! https://youtu.be/b_xXvW_BOJw?si=0AGRKjEZLwZ-ntkt

Tom

Neuroscientist here and I can tell you that panel two is easily the most accurate representation of synaptic firing since 1999's masterpiece, Deep Blue Sea: https://youtu.be/s8rpsQCG5bs?t=150

Achewood

The off-brand, possibly containing lead, version of Achewood!

Condorito

Cory Doctorow tried to warn us about entoddification

Achewood

Man, the end of that scene gives me a great new idea for how to end this arc

GC

> Chuck Jones horse hoof stomping snow into an unlit Sousaphone Time to retire "cellar door" as the most beautiful phrase in English

Achewood

I did not initially realize how pleasantly sibilant the phrase was, until you pointed it out. Thank you.

Jay Y

They're in Germany now, it's Ach-wald

b.zap

Fuck now I have The Beatles doing "The Magical Meth-tery Tour" over and over and over in my head

Zen Window

that's one way to deal with coffee stained teeth i suppose

Tom Morris

I instantly recognised the synapses. More faith sir!

Asherdan

Nespresso - meth-ically delicious!

Ian Stewart

Cram enough of those little pu'er tea cakes into the teapot and you'll be vibrating almost as hard as in this comic

Linus Mixson

Nescfaé Methspresso would be a huge hit in Silicon Valley. Are you familiar with Adrafül?

Theo Freedom

Steal the copper from an in-progress housing development on… METHSPRESSO FRIDAY

Achewood

Grind the catalytic from under a 1993 Honda Civic that's on three mismatched bricks and a log on...

Achewood

I am now. It's always nice to see another new term from the Dave Asprey random sciencey performancey molecule generator — "adrafinil"

Achewood

Does meth actually have a flavor? Does anybody know this? Besides Jesse Pinkman's chili-p, of course, which we all know tasted like Domino's chili flake packets.

Achewood

Superb. Perhaps it was the low oxygen content of the Phoenix hotel room I was staying in, which caused my confusion. I did not spend a lot of money on that hotel room.

Achewood

At this admonishment, Spicey Grampa tore the Nespresso machine in half and devoured its innards like a wolf in a sheep's belly.

Achewood

To get all atavistic like the first raptor to eat that one beetle whose gut turns coca leaves into bioavailable blow

Achewood

like, when you think things can't get any more enshittened, they can always get entoddified. Like, with greasy fingerprints, and chicken bones on the floor.

Achewood

"...affordable sousaphones that have broken the €500 barrier,"  Gentlemen, open the '53 Macallan. We've done it. We've finally given the world the horn it didn't want, at a price that's still too much.

Achewood

The technique is nearly as awesome as that man's shirt. Thank you again!

Declan Buchanan

so funny that these horrible things roast beef thinks might happen to him if he gets any money just happens to ray in another country instead. good on him to outsource like this

Achewood

And when Beef hears that Ray accidentally drank false coffee with meth in it he'll be dangerously confirmed in his ridiculous paranoias, and Molly will be another inch closer to finding him intolerable.

Oppido

"Created around 1893 by J. W. Pepper at the direction of American bandleader John Philip Sousa..." Man, if I were J.W. Pepper I'd be PISSED. By all rights they should be called Pepperphones.

J. Alex

Does this imply that Ray is about to get much shorter?

Jason S

Raymond Q. Smuckles! Are you doing meth? It breaks my heart that you do meth.

Tom Morris

It's clearly just that the minds of cartoonists are working the same way. Nobody else can see it but us. /S

Asherdan

1990 meth bought from a guy outside the Cow Palace during an Aerosmith concert has a certain astringent aroma and taste, is all I can say on the matter.

Jay Y

Frankly, we haven't seen Ray this demonic since the hog laid with the prawn.

Achewood

Problem being, the Pepperphone patent had already been granted in 1873 to a Mr. Eberling Pepper, who had tied a small tin cup to either end of a wire, for placing each cup against one ear, and listening to the other ear.

Achewood

They would only sell me bits and pieces at the Lewis Carroll IP estate sale, so I wasn't able to procure the entire set of powers.

Achewood

But it makes his voice sound so trim!

Tom Morris

It's no Achewood but I've been doing a comic called Dai Dap Taffia Twp on and off since 2017. And just you know, doodles. :) I've been a published gag cartoonist in small circulation magazines too.

rickward

Meth is very, very bitter. Uncut meth, when vaporized, has no smell. The stereotypical ammoniac smell of tweakers is due to them sweating out adulterants. Seriously, Onstad, I am sober from an almost decade-long meth habit. If you ever require more verisimilitude about Ray or anybody’s use, do not hesitate to get in touch with me.

Achewood

Okay, I was only able to secure one large playing card with red paint splotches, and a lavender top hat with a bite taken out of it. I'm kind of embarrassed, and keep them in an unplugged fridge in the garage.

Achewood

Have you been…tasting drinks