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I sat in the anonymous darkness of the steam room, wracking my brain: "Who is the shallowest celebrity, who would also use ayahuasca in a bogus and misguided way, in the wrong setting, with idiots?" I thought of big tech bros, of meathead podcasters, of The Red Hot Chili Peppers. And then, after switching to the cold plunge, then back to the sauna, it hit me like a hot laser from god: Gwyneth Paltrow. Boom. It was then I knew I had a comic.

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Comments

Dickie

Dayamn, T's track record takes yet another blow. The wedding meal, Circus Penis Army, now this.

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Rhythm of His Bone is my favorite Paul Simon album. And Gwyneth makes some unbelieveable steamed yoni vagoo eggs.

b.zap

She was good in that one movie that time

blair

Goddamn, Ray can't say that about Dr. Demento!

jordan b.

I'm now genuinely surprised that I never saw a ska band cover "Monster Mash" back in my teenage attend-shitty-local-punk-shows era.

Johnny Deans

“…panties so dry the wheat don’t grow…” has just entered my lexicon.

Achewood

That was when I knew I had a strip Almost veered it into a glyphosate gag but that was too tortured even by achewood standards

Achewood

All ska is the spiritual grandson of such novelty music, so we may consider all ska songs covers in the "spirit of the law" sense

Achewood

Oh, Ray will say that about anybody who wears a top hat and red bow tie, my friend.

Achewood

She was good in Marty Supreme, but so was everybody

Douglas Wykstra

I can't decide what genre "Rhythm of the Bone" must be. Every time I read the title, I start hearing "Rhythm of the Night" by Corona, but when I think of how Ray deploys "bone" in conversation, I think of something more like "Atomic Dog." So I'm going to assume it's the exact musical midpoint of those songs, with a skeleton trumpet.

Achewood

The mind scrambles while trying to parse how "steamed yoni vagoo eggs" are cooked

Achewood

We should do one where Ray holds a football and Téodor kicks it, but it is caught by the Marines, who immediately draft him into service for a conflict in the Middle East

Crumbles

The album title spelling out Ray Sucks is my favorite kind of Teodor pettiness.

Jake McIntyre

I was recently thinking that of all the Achewood characters, both main and fringe, we've ever gotten to know, it was improbably Circus Penis who seemed the most well-adjusted, self-aware, and content. Wonder how he's doing. I'm guessing pretty good.

Bungus Bronbo

The last panel would make a mean sticker, just sayin'

Shawn Warren

I KNEW there was a ska joke in the mix somewhere

Achewood

It was too tortured to work into the main strip, but I couldn’t not show it

Achewood

I got this message in my inbox and at first thought you meant the last panel with t on the colonoscopy table and was like “yeah it would”

Achewood

You can’t show a peppy trumpet drawing without summoning those mutton-chopped gods

Achewood

Rhythm of the Night, DeBarge, but sexier / with fatter asses on everyone. My wife brought up the Corona one but that’s too house/not 80s enough for Ray’s big Vision

jordan b.

there is musical merit to much of ska, just not the kind made by suburban kids in a fire barn turned community center.

Achewood

Amazing. The only thing that would have improved the experience of loading that video is if the ad had been for acne wipes.

jordan b.

I did not know I needed that in my life.

GruntyGinMan

Man I +like+ Dr. Demento Ray! Retract!

2scrogz

The thing about ska is, most folks may not appreciate it, but those kids seem like they're having fun, and in the end, isn't that what playing music with your friends is all about?

Achewood

He’s doing great, man. Just great. Thanks for asking.

2scrogz

This potentially implies Ray is on a DIFFERENT journey of vengeance. Probably against calories/pre-diabetes.

jordan b.

I wish I knew how to have that much fun as an adult.

Chris Dubie

I hope to never taste the reddish of my friends weakness.

Zachary

It's like I seen it all before, man! I get no radish!

Stavro

oh the Skatune Network guy is fun! not my thing but very glad it exists and is seemingly pretty successful

Douglas Wykstra

Just gave it a listen, good stuff! DeBarge should get 15 cents every time they play "Under the Sea" at Disneyland. Now I feel bad for alerting you to the existence of the U2 EP.

Nate

I'm sorry, but putting "But how's the rhythm of his bone, doc?" Behind a deeper paywall is unethical and that specific frame simply must be in some way displayed elsewhere like maybe a t shirt designed to puzzle my in laws

Achewood

I'd seen the EP pop its head up here and there. I would have given it a shake at some point, because I owe that band the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes you get burned by such magnanimity.

Achewood

agreed, at least making ska is productive and healthy time with friends, and it keeps everyone involved from spending all their time buying rainbow suspenders and checkered high-water skinny trousers

Achewood

Ray's BOC, the dude epigenetically inherited so many journeys of vengeance.

Achewood

It's ok roasted with butter, but still not my favorite recipe

Achewood

Ah, THAT's the previous radish reference! The radish is a versatile yet always-peppery signifier in the Achewood lexicon.

Achewood

I would enjoy posting that panel by itself on Instagram, to further confuse and disgust the populace

C C

I'm glad I just listened to Monster Mash in late February. That's pretty weird. Nice one.

Josh Egbert

Every single one of these made me laugh.

EndgamerAzari

"Who was it that told you I cared" is a heater

Achewood

You have to also say the "which way did he go" part to imply you're willing to chase them down and beat them for lying so hard

Achewood

Thanks dude [muscley arms high-fiving emoji]

Conor Nelson

ska monster mash lol man. That cover reminds me of so many albums... definitively nailed the Fishbone 101: Nuttasaurusmeg Fossil Fuelin' the Fonkay bone font