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0173b — The Man Who Never Met His Uncle (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-10 19:00:11
Imported:
2026-04
Tags:

Content

If a man has a problem, it can be fixed with a plug: Neurosis. Hair Loss. Flat tire. Unplugged toaster. The big four. You can't plug a limp di—wait, I saw a thing at the big sex store in town where you definitely can. The kit said it was for an activity called "sounding," which, coincidentally, is where the name Mark Twain comes from. Not from pestering one's urethra, but from measuring river depth. Which reminds me, I am unlikely to win the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at this rate. Okay, get out of here, go get some sun!

Files

Comments

Thunk

Boy have I not had my coffee yet

Dickie

Beef has been jailbroken. I mean, he's always been *broken*, but...

Charles Richter

as part of her job, my wife has on many occasions had to identify and provide historical context for a wide variety of urethral sounding devices, devised for medical purposes, and now i am forced to imagine an 19th century physicker, as he pushes the rod to a depth of two inches, loudly proclaiming "mark twain!" to an onlooking crowd of future sawboneses and whoever else snuck into the operating theatre that day

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Pasta is definitely bad...if bad means AMAZING! Eat at Ray's Refectory!

E Corcoran

Rare D&D reference, to the blink dog

clorox enema

Oh boy would I ever pay for a sticker of Sondra saying "I am very proud of you for finally understanding your own bottom, Raymond."

Daniel Burt

Ah, understanding your own bottom... One of the first, and highest mountains we all must climb.

Miles McMahon

But I really need to know if pasta is bad

E Corcoran

I think you mean Suppository

E Corcoran

It's like a robot's ass

Rob Dalton

“I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the ‘lower animals’ (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.” —Mark Twain

Jay Y

We know he has the restart button somewhere from the repeated gunshot wounds. Perhaps the "suppository" ended up hitting it.

Achewood

Depends on if it was cooked in a suppository

Achewood

All I know is that stage two is grief

Achewood

Hey, if people rally in numbers, I will make it happen

Achewood

Since I was never invited to play D&D I'll have to ask you what the ref is

Achewood

Okay, what job is this, I think I ask on everybody's behalf

Achewood

Yeah I mean he has that paperclip hole that doc Andretti installed right?

Rob Dalton

"Letters from your mom." —Lyle

E Corcoran

There's an animal in D&D called the blink dog. That's all. Merely that!

Charles Richter

she manages the medical history collection at a Serious Museum

Thunk

Oh it's not the main strips. Yarrr

Nicholas Williams

Only now do I understand that everyone is using the Ray-shaped plug, rather than their own simulacrum. It’s an absolutely fucking devastating alpha-move on Ray’s part but he’s being really diplomatic about it.

kdusjjdhxksj

When you've got a play like that, it's best to let people figure it out later, on their own.

Achewood

Hassling. Worrying. Potentially puncturing. Not where man was meant to play.

Achewood

We’ve all know kids who are surprisingly shameless in front of their folks right? My brother is that way. He will swear in front of my mom. I always wince.

Achewood

You’re just saying that to keep me away from your weekly game!

Achewood

I mean “campaign.” Sorry, nerds

Achewood

That’s awesome, I want tickets, medical history is horrid and terrifying, I have a coffee table book Did you know they used to cure stutters with a blood eagle

b.zap

Ground control to Major Beef Come in Major Beef ...

Nicholas Williams

You know who’s NOT using Ray’s dildo-likeness? PAT. Ice fucking cold on Pat’s part. Pat is raw for this one.

Walter Cooke

I smiled at the title because two decades ago I worked with an Inuit shaman from Greenland who was named Angaangaq: 'the man who looks like his uncle'.

The Good Poster

He had to get his own back, after they tricked him the first time. This is Dudes' Chess.

The Good Poster

A mother calibrates her pride in her son to what she thinks he can achieve. Evolution did this for us.

Omurice

Take a look at the Mütter Museum, they describe their collection proudly as “18% of our collection is human remains, some displaying genitalia, traumatic injuries, or disfiguring pathologies”. Be sure to check out Michelle the Choking Doll, you’ll never look at a Cabbage Patch doll again without shuddering.

Omurice

Partition Worm bears a striking resemblance to Lowly Worm, of course L.W. wears an alpine style hat with a feather and a single shoe, but they have a similar air of insouciance.

Achewood

Is that kind of like "the baby looks like the mailman"?

Achewood

To be fair, Ray has accomplished a lot more than most guys I know. He got so drunk on Blue Nun he dookied the bed!

Achewood

There is no way this was a coincidence. As soon as I saw that I had drawn a long worm, on went the hat and googly eye, and his mandible was a pure crib.

Achewood

and you'd think Pat would be the first in line to shove Ray's property up his ass

E Corcoran

Fascinating, thanks!

Matthew Miller

I'm picturing Pat with a matter of fact, no holds barred self exploration column in a hip men's magazine called "Sounding Off." It is cancelled after three issues.

Achewood

This is what happens when just anybody thinks they can make a doll

Achewood

"Meatus Where We're At: Men's Health with Pat Reynolds"

Henri

Pat’s plug is a thinly veiled allusion towards gay men watching a lot of gladiator movies (but also not letting go of their inner engineer while doing so).

Henri

”St… st… st…” ”SCREEEEEEEEEECH” ”…”

Charles Richter

when i took an archival methods course at the smithsonian, our final project was to develop an arrangement and finding aid for a small unprocessed archival collection. i was extremely jealous of my classmate who was assigned the papers of Chevalier Jackson, whom visitors to the Mütter may remember as the guy with the filing cabinet full of uncomfortable objects he removed from throats.

Idiot Man

Chuckle of horror at the size of that silhouette inside Beef. More canopic jar than action figure. I don't think that's the way the Egyptians used them but I'm not sure.

Achewood

I was not aware of this aspect of gay male life. I’ll have to examine why o am always watching…Gladiator. With 300 in the picture-in-picture.

Achewood

There’s a lot we don’t know about the Egyptians. Some have posited that the pyramids were just to keep you from parking too close to the sand on the other side of the pyramid.

Achewood

This is why Achewood readers are the readers you could actually talk with for the duration of a flight.

Datura

i like the implication that you were in the gym showers and you were like man these guys are probably ignoring their asses