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0174b — I'm Clade Whistlebay! OR AM I (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-17 19:00:10
Imported:
2026-09
Tags:

Content

In a perfect universe, Mike & Jason Comix runs every Sunday on the front page, bottom right corner, of The New York Times. It is always the same strip. People look forward to it, and smile a sigh of relief when it is yet again there. It would serve as a foot in the door of a nation in need of healing. If anyone can do animation, I am open to seeing this animated and set to Seals & Crofts Summer Breeze. There will be an Oscar for ten-second clips soon, I figure, so let's get out in front of it.

Files

Comments

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

The lore goes so deep. Good call of fuck vs whoops. Ray is not a serious whoops or whoopsie guy. But we know he is a serious fuck guy.

Daniel M Ford

Good to see that Mike and Jason have moved beyond the need for hot tub brawling and into hot tub accepting, supportive masculinity.

Dickie

Bear arse in the upper right, feline dingus in the lower left. Achewood is served.

Lisa Taylor

Having just finished DTF St. Louis last night (which was emotionally devastating), I was in the right frame of mind for this explosion of male bonding. Not, however, in the right frame of mind for full frontal nudity.

Douglas Wykstra

This might be more appropriate in main thread but don't want to double post: Ray's interest in a project seems to last for exactly as long as it takes for him to crack it (or to get bored with trying). Once he'd identified a market for the figurine and manufactured it to acceptable specifications, he kinda wandered off and did something else. This oddly feels like something to aspire to.

b.zap

Oh gouda, a cheese joke

Josh Fireland

A fitting tribute to the recently departed Darrell George “Dash” Crofts

Achewood

Apparently in the 70s they pioneered being canceled by releasing a pro-life song

Achewood

Thanks for going out on a Limburger

Gregory Sheets

…Nolan…? From the Internet…? Are Deleted Scenes Canon? Did he somehow, unaccountably, survive his Death Relationship?

Achewood

I left my soda company for the same reasons: the product and brand problems were solved. Because Achewood can’t be solved, I keep coming back to it.

clorox enema

Oh my, I also need a sticker of Mike and Jason dancing to 'Summer Breeze'. Not to put on my laptop but to affix to my soul.

Achewood

Sorry, the hot tub brawls guys union called and they needed work.

Achewood

I’m just a documentarian, things like that really happen

Achewood

He just doesn’t want the world to end, cause it’s hella fun

Dickie

"Fuck" is the six hundo of cusses.

Funkulus

"Too intellectual to heal" needs to be a T-shirt, sticker set AND a choice 80s silicon valley typeface fake album cover. Because I will have it as my new family motto. You owe us this much, Onstad.

Brian Horstead

Just realized this is what would have happened if the guys had gone through with marketing the foil underpants with built in cell phone holder I guess the solution is to... give one to Philipe..?

b.zap

never has it o-curd to me / how hard it is to pun on cheese

Achewood

Deleted scenes are not canon. They are liminal, included largely to fool everyone into believing that they have been satisfactorily entertained.

Achewood

Like, brand it into your essence using an inkless tattoo gun.

Achewood

The heraldic device: a brain, in a mug of coffee, on the bus, sneering at happy teenagers

Nicholas Williams

Am I in a weird dream world, or was there actually a newspaper comic that was the same every day? Maybe I'm thinking of David Lynch's "The Angriest Dog in the World" which ran in the "LA Reader" and did in fact use the exact same art from 1982 to 1993. Whoops I guess I just remembered the thing that I was thinking about. Still might be in a dream world though.

Achewood

I think that might make him turn six. We don't want that. We need our permanent innocent one.

Grant's Tomb

Jason is so happy to embrace Mike. I feel like something I've held on to since 2007 has come full circle and patted me on the head.

Grant's Tomb

Also, he's happy, but he ain't THAT happy, if ya know what i mean.

Bungus Bronbo

All I can say: Good job, Mike and Jason. Good job, sirs.

Asherdan

I laughed hard at that little 'whoops'. I mean, don't change nothin' but I'm glad for the alternate too.

Ryan Boyle

You did great work on the news team names, and it was lost on the massive social commentary of the main comic. Thanks for rehashing.

Achewood

The longer I do this, the more I respect that strange man

Achewood

Gradually, I will release all the tensions which have been left unresolved in the first decades of Achewood. It starts with Mike and Jason. Will it end with Ramses and the kitchen aid saleswoman?

Achewood

🎉… look for an announcement …❤️

Achewood

“Fuck.” won by a whisker.

Achewood

Thank you. I felt like this was a good silly names week for me. I could tell.

clorox enema

My friend's dad used to say that the best tattoo you could get was Elmer Fudd on one of your butt cheeks saying "Come out of there you wascally wabbit!" But maybe he was wrong...🤔

Achewood

In this scenario — which is lovely — is Elmer Fudd talking to digested matter, or to a sexual partner? Or to Bugs Bunny (?)

clorox enema

I had always assumed Bugs Bunny.

clorox enema

But I could always ask him...

J. Alex

Who else can remember downloading "Hot tub Brawls (secret good ending).exe" off of Kazaa in 2002, and immediately watching as your family computer forgot how to make 1s?

Nicholas Williams

He was my actual hero, to the point where I tried to buy his fog machine at auction after he died. I had the highest bid until the last minute at which point I was outbid by, oh, let's say 3000%.

Achewood

I just used this one 12-frame animated gif of it. I think I still have it on a CD I burned.

C C

Gack, for the last time, tasted the cool machine oil from the barrel as it slid into his mouth. As always the flavor filled his mind with the shame of his betrayal to his name and clan. He was exhausted and powerless to resist any longer. The respected name of Gooter, long honored in the hills and hollers of his White Mountain home, cast aside to appeal to the low level, slick haired executives at KCAW. The brief moment of the trigger pull was the last comfort he had.

C C

Man now that I look at this as a comment it seems pretty dang dark. I think something about Gack made me envision a dark backstory, Do you want me to get rid of all this Onstad?

Achewood

The suggestion that he has done this many times before is good character background. But it could be darker. What if he only shot an unimportant part of his brain that made one leg not work, but then a bear smelled the blood, and came and ate him from the feet up?

Achewood

No, darker, DARKER! Make the bear have the trots! Put a plane crash in the distance!

C C

The suggestion that Gack was so practiced at this ritual that he could select the single part of his brain that would leave him powerless against the bear, does make his demise even better and darker indeed.

C C

Gack laid almost dead, sprawled in the adirondack chair on the deck of his mobile home. The drone of the crickets and cicadas filled the sweltering night air as the stillness left over from the gun shot dissipated into the night. From the shadows of the shelter belt where he he had been hiding for three nights, the bear finally smelled what he had waited for, the gun smoke could not hide the smell of blood and viscera from Gack's still warm body. The ancient diuretic bear lumbered on to the deck and carefully took in the scent of Gack's body. Gack was still conscious enough, even now to see the bear, the bear he had been running from for so long, this curse he had only hoped to destroy through this sacrifice. The bear though knew it's role, nature always wins. Entropy is the law of the universe. So Gack was left screaming as his living body was consumed slowly before him until his consciousness ebbed and the darkness fell onto him.

C C

Than the next morning when the bear was pooping out flannel wrapped pieces of Gack, a plane fell on him. -Fin

Achewood

Now THIS is what messageboards could be, people! I like how the plane “fell” on him. Like it hadn’t been flying, it was just above him somehow.