when I have no goals (Patreon)

So life's been a bit of a whirlwind lately. Ups and downs and lefts and rights, ALL directions really. One moment I feel so excited and motivated and the next like all air has been deflated out of me. I do believe the dark winters in the North of Sweden gets to me and it's hard to find the energy for what I wish to do. I've seen more obstacles than opportunities and I know this is a mindset more than anything else.

One thing I know I was hit by after the initial overwhelming disbelief and happiness from reaching partnership was an emptiness. Weird right? You'd think that when you reach the big big BIG goal you've been working towards for almost two years you'd only be filled with a massive boost of energy to go even harder. Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was me totally not expecting it or maybe I'm just not well trained in celebrating achievements. Either way I became sort of "insert John Travolta confused meme" lost. What now? What's my next big goal? 

It struck me that my next big goals felt SO far away (and borderline impossible) that I couldn't even aim close to the coordinates for them. They're like "have my own horse" and a beach house"-level of high goals. Which is fine, but does make it hard to know where to start or what to do.

That's where chunking it down comes, as with anything we want to achieve. What's the first step?

But I also needed a new work-related goal. Because honestly, I'm happy where I'm at and the "grow our community" is way too vague to ever put a spark in my eyes. So what are my goals? Here's where I really needed to massage my temples. 

So I was talking to Cipher, because frankly I've been hardcore stuck. I hate-love where we live now but the biggest problem for us is space. We have good rent in expense of other things and one of those is that we don't have our own personal space. Don't get me wrong I love that bastard, but there's only so much desk slamming and "C*NT"-yelling from infuriating League Of Legends games a girl can hear; and "OMG I love you so muuuch"  squeals and "hewwo's" a man can listen to without going crazy. 

So today I found my next big goal, and big step.

Move back close to Lovi!

It would allow me to record music and videos again, do cosplays and portrait shoots but it'll also work as a fresh start. It'll work hand in hand with "growing our community" and "expanding my creativity". Living there would give us both the tools to live the active life we crave right now. I also trust that more goals and dreams will always pop up along the way if we just dare to believe and keep our eyes open. Finding this was like a wave of fresh air into my lungs. Now I'm excited to zoom in on this goal and of course update you along the way. Moving to a complete different side of the country isn't easy, but definitely doable. As I think most big dreams are in one way or another.

Thank you for supporting me, all the love to you!~ JoyPs. Here's some other smaller tangible goals you can tag along with on the journey of achieving: 

Reach 6k followers on Twitch

Reach 2k followers on Instagram and Twitter

Reach 20k subscribers on Youtube

35 patrons!