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July Bonus Suggestion Thread: AAAAH Real (big) Monsters (Patreon)

Published:
2022-07-19 01:48:28
Edited:
2022-07-19 01:48:56
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Its july and we want your biggest baddest kaiju movies. We want the rim your pacific and find the god awful in your godzilla. Hit us with your worst big bois doing a heckin fight and then we'll UNDEMOCRATICALLY choose one 

Comments

Ilan Woll

Rampage was pretty awful, plus The Rock

Adam Pope

Pacific Rim obviously or rather Atlantic Rim, the ripoff lol

David

Pacific Rim 2 was awful but at the same time literally any transformer movie was it's equal lol. I would be down for either

I’mNotSayingThat

1961’s “Reptilicus” is the only right answer here.

Christopher Hansen

Jaws 3 (I think)...the one that takes place in SeaWorld. It's stunningly bad.

Cbz

Pacific Rim. I hated that movie. The ONLY saving grace was that the two leads didn't get together. There are not enough movies where two(presumably) straight leads of different genders don't get together in the end!

Joe

I enjoyed Yongary quite a bit. Really bad Korea monster movie

GeekOfDoom

2008 Incredible Hulk. "You wouldn't like me when I'm... Hungry."

Venkman's Assistant

Rampage. I unapologetically love that movie, and it's a lot of fun, but it's not good. The live action Attack On Titan movies would work, too.

WolfWizard

I'd say one of the Gamera movies, or "Night of the Lepus" if you're going for giant monsters in general (seriously, giant monster bunnies!?)

JCS

This! 2 votes for Pacific Rim.

Devil Doc Josue

Q, the winged serpent. That is all I've got to say. If you know, you know.

Michael Colon

"King Kong" 1976 with Jessica Lange

Thais

The 2014 film Exists is a comically bad indie horror about Bigfoot. Another very funny bad one is Dragon Wars (also market as D-Wars).

I’mNotSayingThat

Or 1957’s “The Giant Claw.” That one was so bad, the cast (who hadn’t seen the monster/puppet during production) literally snuck out of the theater during the premiere rather than be seen with that thing.

I’mNotSayingThat

Oh dear god. “Have a nice trip! See you next fall! Teeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

Sai Like Sigh

It's a bit of a stretch but "Crawl" (2014) has a giant storm, a giant alligator, and a many giant plot holes. Also it's set in Florida so ya know 🤷

Sai Like Sigh

Forget Pacific Rim, thiiiiiiis is crying out for a GAM bonus

Timothy Thayer

Pacific Rim: Uprising. Even worse than the first Pacific Rim.

Chris

The terrible British movie Gorgo. Bring Michael Marsh on to subject him to it.

Stuart

The 1991 Guyver live action movie, although I unironically love it’s sequel Guyver:Dark Hero.

OuroCat

King Kong 2005 is perfect for you. It's this weird mishmash of jingoist war imagery with some "Nature is spooky" at the start then some "Nature needs to be protected" in the middle then some "america fuck yeah" at the end it's like there was a fight in the writer room that ended in a breakup.

Paul Freelend

Godzilla: Final Wars, in which the American Godzilla gets what's coming to it.

HazeWulf Demonic

So just send you porn of me?¿... Cept I'm like Heath, so it will just be me having a weepy jerk in the corner of a dark room. With the worst, shittiest, out of focus night vision~ =^P

Eric Meyer

Okay, but I unironically love that movie for the big fat American guy with a Tom Selleck mustache who we are to believe understands Japanese.

Hazel Cat Lady

I would recommend "The Eden Formula", not just because it's Australian release name is "Tyrannosaurus Wrecks" (which is a perfect film title). It has so much to love about it; Tony Todd (who is too good for all the bad movies he's in), bad science, bad medic (that's not how you use a tourniquet!), bad sub-plot with stakeholders and spies and hacking, reused special effects, and a T-rex that looks like a hand puppet. And many decapitations.

TBoneSF

That movie is still done with some competence including a decent looking Kong (portrayed by Rick Baker). Now the sequel, King Kong Lives, just wallows in 80s cheese where they try to get "clever" and have a lady Kong, a blond guy in the Jessica Lange role, and Linda Hamilton doing the Jeff Bridges part.

Eric Meyer

Gamera vs. Guiron / Attack of the Monsters. I love me some Gamera but... c'mon. Giant turtle kaiju vs literal knife head kaiju in defense of two utterly hateable kids with quite possibly tge worst dubbing ever done to a foreign language movie. Also, hot evil humanoid alien chick's who kidnap earth children to eat their brains?

Mark H

Do transformers movies count? Pick one.

Kurt Montandon

Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend. It’s more dinosaur than Kaiju, but it is absolutely god-awful about a bad animatronic baby brontosaurus.

Kurt Montandon

Also: Everyone who said “Pacific Rim” needs to be banned from Patreon, PIATpod social media, and the Internet in general. That movie was a goddamn classic, and I won’t hear it slandered.

GenmuLVLX

Teenagers from outer space, if only due to having the worst and laziest "monster" I've ever seen in a movie.

B. King

Pacific Rim 2 or 1998 Godzilla

Dustin Hanson

Independence Day Resurgence, just a blatant rehash of the original with a giant queen fight at the end with a cliffhanger that will never matter.

Viridian-Flow

The legend of Galgameth. I know I watched it something like 10 times as a stupid kid and still don't remember 90% of it so that's a good sign it's terrible. Has a big rubber Dino/dragony guy in a suit and (I think I remember) some creepy dude tasting the tears of a crying woman to figure out "Tears are salty, that must be it's weakness!" https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galgameth

Adrian the science enthusiast

Oh my godddd! Yes! You guys have to do the amazing North Korean Propaganda Bulgasari! This movie is so bat shit nutty, the story that got the film makers is even more crazy. Hell, i’ll even donate extra just to hop on and talk about the nuttiness of this gem! The espionage, kidnapping, the escape is even more interesting the movie itself

Mark H

Godzilla’s Revenge looks REALLY silly. Apparently the baby from ABC’s “Dinosaurs” was inspired by the baby Godzilla in that piece of shit

Andrew S

It has to be Battleship.

Lizard Brain

This right here. Holy crap someone has to do this one. Bonus, it’s technically religious.

Kroll the Swolbold

How about the blatant "we have Pacific Rim at home" movies, Atlantic Rim

Mark H

According to Wikipedia, Bulgasari is a South Korean film that has been lost. PULGASARI (1985) is the North Korean film based on the same monster.

Alexander Thomas

I loved Guyver. I need to watch these again.

Mark H

Pulgasari (1985). North Korean propaganda monster. The director and lead actress were kidnapped by NK but managed to escape after this movie was made. Great story. It’s supposed to be anti-capitalist, but the director supposedly worked some anti-Kim-Il-Sung sentiments into it.

Dexter

THEM! 1954 or 1958’s The Crawling Eye

Unofficial_Opinion

Attack of the Gryphon. Eli will love it because D&D shit. Plus it’s got some guy’s less talented brother as a medieval made guy.

Troublemaker Jake

Don Frye worked for New Japan Pro-Wrestling for 4 years so he might have

Panzer

1998 Godzilla is the first one that comes to mind.

Suzanne August

Godzilla vs. Mothra or Son of Godzilla. A Rhoda’s movie would be fun

Jin Hadah

Megashark vs giant octopus, maybe get PZ Myers as a guest

Suzanne August

That’s Rhodan (racist auto-correct)

Nic

King Kong vs Godzilla. King Kong flies and has a super powered axe it is ridiculously stupid

Asexual Asshole

"Big Octopus" is the movie about when a small shop owner catches a little mutant Octopus and accidentally becomes involved in a conspiracy involving genetic mutation experiments and a giant kaiju Octopus. link to movie here: https://youtu.be/0WzEP2YsSuU The best part is the 45-minute mark!

Steve Chaput

Has to be Destroy All Monsters. Lots of Kaiju kick ass.

Asexual Asshole

I fear this movie is too naughty to review on your show, but I would be evil to not share this wonderful Japanese jem: https://youtu.be/QHsg3zoaN44 It's the story of when a woman is covered with strange radiation and sometimes becomes huge. She fights an octopus that seems to know where her "special places" are. It's live-action and has the budget of a ham sandwich. Giant tentacles and explosions! What more could you ask for?

Jacob Saiyan

Do you have a moment to talk about Mega Python vs. Gatoroid?

Travis Collins

In honor of the James Webb photos, and because it is unabashedly my favorite G-Flick, I nominate “Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla”. It has everything: a staggering misunderstanding of what space even is, not one but TWO annoying kid characters, psychic bullshit, a robot that is made up of two vehicles for no reason beyond selling toys, and really awkward kaiju fights.

Asexual Asshole

I unironically enjoyed the most resent Power Rangers (2017) movie. Friends and I rented it to tear it to shreds over taco night, and all of us were left pleasantly surprised. The damn robot helper still needs to be thrown into a volcano. Great suggestion.

Billy and Ashley

This one also has a baby Godzilla/scrappy young kid team up plus a Matrix ripoff for the rest of the humans to have something to do.

Geoffrey T. Blackwell

Hmmm. You've already done a Transformers movie and the 90s Godzilla movie... Maybe Colossal? Wherein Anne Hathaway kinda sorta remote controls a Kaiju.

Geoffrey T. Blackwell

Alternatively, Cloverfield. Or, even better, The Cloverfield Paradox. That movie is amazingly fun-bad.

Amanda

I'm not sure if sharks count as Kaiju, but I'm kind of on board with GT, suggesting The Meg.

Jess Donovan

Tremors is way too perfect to work for GAM I think. But good to bring up. It should be seen by everyone.

Birder Stuart

Having seen the last Jurassic World film yesterday, wow was that terrible and needs GAMing.

You can just think of me as That One Guy

Atragon - a Japanese movie about people from the lost continent of Mu attacking the world out of fear of the super-submarine built by a disappeared Japanese Admiral which no-one aside from them and the Admiral even knows about. Oh - the submarine also flies, by the way! YouTube /fzUZLme3GEs to see the trailer (including the link apparently removes my comment...)

Robert Hullah

Can I ask that you exclude any Asylum movies, they're just too easy.

Chris W

When dinosaurs ruled the earth. Giant Crabs! And the film is shit so should be eligible.

Kamaljeet Gill

Gotta be Pacific Rim 2, swapping out Kendo and giant robots for John Boyega playing Dance Dance Party Party to save the world.

Elvis Manson

KIng Kong (1976 Dino De Laurentiis production)

Elvis Manson

Right! Or Food of the Gods! 1970s, big studio, big name stars, big bunnies and chickens.

brokenspoke

If only it had more Dorkin.

Adrian the science enthusiast

Fair, It’s also the weird romanisation of North Korean and South Korean but both are written 불가사리 (P/Bulgasari) it actually was a “remake” but with a weird marxist communist critique on capitalism 😂they are the same essential spelling. But honestly, I could very easily go with either its just the NKorea one has a crazier back story and even more cheesy and nuttier

Adrian the science enthusiast

I’m ready for this. I spent so long analyzing and critiquing this gem when I was in Korea. Even the Koreans I knew thought I was a nut

Esteban

That Dreamworks cartoon flop, Monsters Vs. Aliens

Ashley Kennett

Oddly I loved this movie but yeah definitely ripe for a roasting :D

Flantastic02

Reigo, the deep-sea monster vs the Battleship Yamato [2005] Bet nobody's suggested this one yet

Flantastic02

A better Isekai movie than a Monster Hunter movie. I kind of like it despite being a Monster hunter fan

Alysha L

Pulgasari~!!!!! Or as it is known North Korean Godzilla, made when Kim Jong-il ordered the kidnapping of Director Shin Sang-ok

Sterling Hallauer

Eight Legged Freaks! D-list actors inexplicably survive running from super-sized spiders made of bad CGI.

The Beautiful Thumb

I second this one! The American version, of course, with the pie plate satellite and the "news reporter" who is just barely not laughing, and the worst gorilla suit EVER! Please please -- I've wanted this since you started Bonus episodes. I even gave Eli a DVD copy long ago at ReasonCon.

Haley Wilson

Godzilla vs Kong was absolutely terrible.

Apocalypse Cowboy

The Giant Claw (1957), with it's glorious marionette vulture monster

Luci

Does Uwe Bol have any kaiju movies? I've only ever accidentally watched 1 of his movies I think, and I refuse to watch anymore to find out. My inner 10 year old loved Pacific Rim, but I'm sure there is plenty to mock there. After looking it up, I think I have to add another vote for Pulgasari. It looks spectacularly bad.

Sodomy and Crackers

Agreed, decent movie, better than I expected. Not super Monster Huntery, but got to see a Rathy boi. Definitely needed several hours of people talking about ecology.

Sodomy and Crackers

They did the original Power Rangers the movie. With Ivan Ooze and the nut shot ftw.

I’mNotSayingThat

Was that the one with the Twin Towers where Kong jumps from one to the other?

Mark H

They should do it again

Mark H

There was a podcast episode telling this story once. Maybe This American Life or Snap Judgement?

Unofficial_Opinion

Embarrassed to say I enjoyed that terrible, stupid film. :-)

Ben Brogren

Cloverfield. Never been a fan of found footage movies.

Patrick Haughton

Yongary. It's a film from 1967 and it's basically South Korean Godzilla but without the budget. Or acting. Or special effects.

GodAwful

Is that movie available anywhere? Wikipedia says it's considered a lost film.

Renee Y Bisel

Gamera is really neat. Gamera is made of meat.

Kingyam

You can order a DVD of it off Amazon. Reviews say the picture quality is low, but I suspect that may be a feature, not a bug.

Kingyam

Attack Of The Super Monsters. It's a combination of stop motion and anime-style animation that aggressively doesn't work.

Aqua man

A classic the guys discussed doing on the show: Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf.

Andrew Campbell

Gamera Super Monster. Its just stock footage from all the previous Gamera movies stitched together to make a new movie. And the lead actress has a very noticeable camel toe for 90% of her screen time

Dustin Price

Both excellent movies!! ❤️

Dustin Price

Sounds like you’re asking to do Prince of Egypt again

The DinosaurDave

Jurassic World Dominion Its really really worth the roasting pleaaassseeeer

Regina Calabrese

Congo. MOTHERFUCKIN' CONGO. To date the only movie so bad I walked out of it.

Yness Boily

I am going swing this in a slightly unexpected direction. CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG. Heath will love it because its a giant dog. Eli will love it because there is a pug. Noah will like it because..... Noah will hate it and therefore be able to convince the others how bad it is!!!!

My PhD is in studying palindromes. I'm Dr Awkward

Holy fuck I take it all back because I saw another comment and was reminded of something I saw in my youth called Night of the Lepus which is about giant rabbits destroying a town which are definitely not regular sized rabbits knocking over LEGOs. It should be Velocipastor territory but it takes itself seriously.

Andy Tague

It seems like this is an opportunity for the guys to fulfill the promise of reviewing Sharktopus vs Whalewolf.

Erin and Gilford Murphy

Pulgasari, the North Korean Godzilla. Created when Kim Jong-iL kidnapped his favorite director and forced him to make kaiju themed propaganda at gunpoint.

SadPanda

Colossal is a good movie about toxic masculinity disguised as a kaiju movie.

Notorious PJZ

1988 Tri Star Pictures The Blob staring Kevin Dillon! The only thing that can truly fight the ego of man, an empty and ever expanding void. Unless it gets a bit chilly outside..

Mama Llaga

"Daimajin" 1966 A giant stone statue comes to life to protect the residents of a small town against the depradations of an evil warlord. and a link that has English subtitles https://youtu.be/-togQmsZmFc

CarrieBoo

I actually kinda like this movie and I love that you thought of it.

CarrieBoo

Clash of the Titans...the original or the remake. Dealer's choice.

Jacob Hernandez

Anaconda. A giant snake trying to kill Ice-Cube and J-lo with Jon Voit doing...an accent. Incredible bad movie

I Spy

Tremors 5

Total Absolutism

Dragon Wars. I think it was originally a Korean film? The effects are strange, the acting is... Stranger. And the titular Dragon Wars themselves... Well, I don't want to spoil it, but be in for disappointment.

Mark Jones

Cloverfield. There's an apocalyptic battle going on in front of you and you decide to film your friends. The shameless product placement from Nokia as well as a pot that seems to be winging it as much as the protagonists.

Mark H

There are two movies with very similar names. Bulgasari, made in 1962 in SK is lost. Pulgasari was made in 1985 in NK and is available.

Microbru

Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster- weird cartoons and environmental message.

Adam Pope

it 100% is a classic. like Tango & Cash. and that episode of GAM was beautiful

CmdrPherret

I wish there was a search function - didn't see it in a quick scan so I'm gonna throw out: The Meg And just in case size doesn't really matter: The Toxic Avenger!

CmdrPherret

Gotta get Thomas for this one, 'cause he's a filthy cat lover.