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GAM Bonus 078: Pinocchio (2022... the bad one) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-28 18:14:39
Edited:
2023-12-05 18:15:50
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

This month, we left it to our patrons to decide which of the remaining Razzie nominees we should review. And you did not disappoint.

Comments

Kespos

Fuck yes! I’ve been waiting since last Thursday’s diatribe 🔥

CarrieBoo

I've always hated the Disney cartoon....the *audacity* of making a live action adaptation....wtf Disney?

3rd Amendment Truther

Having not seen the original and not knowing the plot, my kids and I watched this together about a week ago. We were just wielded out by it, and then eventually just out right laughing at how silly it was, especially when Pinocchio decided to push the boat in the water away from the whale. It sounded like a blender.

Mark H

I voted for tits and dicks. And talking fetuses?

J. Vizzle

Perfect timing, I just finished this week's GAM and Citation Needed and was feeling very sad I was out of PiaT podcasts to listen to, and then BAM, bonus episode! ❤️

CarrieBoo

I also voted for this one.

Cave_Dweller

That's a Disney movie that *everyone* remembers much differently than the actual film. It's goddamn nightmare fuel.

Cave_Dweller

I love Eli's Tom-Hanks-Impersonating-Jimmy-Stewart impersonation.

Markus D

I actually think that Disney WANTED to compete with Guillermo Del Toro's version, which was an awful idea, but would explain why the whole thing was so rushed. Like at the end of the movie with them escaping from Monstro and being on the beach afterwards it literally looks like the water CGI was left unfinished. Also, how did you not mention/find out that Jiminy Cricket was JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT?

KeepingThePlatesSpinning

HE DOESN'T BECOME A REAL BOY! And his nose growing is only touched on once!?!?! What was this??? I'm all at once sorry for voting for Pinoccio and glad about it. You guys are amazing!

Robert Muse

Between this and hanging with Chet, I think doing this is a better choice

Colby Belk

When Noah said YOLO I inhaled a Pringle.

AlteraGoodCivilization

If we figure out the right combo to get a donkey dick: please share it with everyone.

Starshark

I was mad that Good Mourning didn't get the vote because that sure looks like garbage. But this episode was really good. I can only assume this was made for a hundred bucks like those Atlas Shrugged movies so Disney could keep the copyright or something.

Jesse Ozog

Eli was doing a Jimmy Stewart impression for Tom Hanks, was I following that correctly?

Jesse Ozog

Also, anyone familiar with the great comic book series Fables knows The Adversary's true identity

Order-Border

this episode was so good! Eli saying speed feet makes me laugh so fucking hard i start crying

Timothy Thayer

If Heath wants puppet fucking, I have good news. Team America: World Police. Review that as a secular bonus.

Proud mom of fur babies

I read the lyrics to hi diddly di, they really aren't that bad, just a lot of actors become rich and rich people get beaver skin coats and watches and covered wagons. The only thing that could be considered problematic is buying out a candy store, even then it's a child's fantasy to buy and own a candy store. Just saying, I don't get the problematic aspect Eli proported existed.

Steven

They’re “racist” against donkeys bc they’re acting like asses so they’re being turned into asses

Danial Gibson

This is even trippier for me because the current Dimension 20 campaign has Pinocchio as a warlock. Somehow that seems saner.

Bram Kaandorp

Small correction on the nose bit: Pinocchio was lying just because, and then they see that the key is right in line with his nose. So, Pinocchio lies again to get to the key, but then he has to clarify for Jiminy Cricket that it wasn't a real lie, just a white lie. Still stupid, maybe even more so.

Michael Duchek

One fan theory is that Donkey from Shrek was a delinquent who escaped from Pleasure Island before his transformation was complete.

Markus Nävergård

you know. if you wanna watch a kids cartoon that has a lot of sexual stuff in it, i can recomend the great mouse detective. It has a full on Burlesque sexy mouse dance number.

Markus Nävergård

the kid kidnapper is clearly ment to be Romani, so yeah problematic

Markus Nävergård

and now i remember the obscure cartoon Fish Police. it had some very fuckable female fish characters

Matt Eldritch

And Vincent Price gives an amazing performance as the villian.

Uriah Jackson

It's bad, but is it worse than the Benigni version?

Nellapalooza

Rather than wasting your time with this Disney mess, I highly recommend the 2021 Russian CGI animated movie "Pinocchio: A True Story", which includes the voice talents of SpongeBob, Napoleon Dynamite, and Pauly Shore. A very WTF movie. Although maybe not as WTF as Kids VS Wizards. 😆

Battie

Did a spit take and snorted when Eli brought up the “ correct” pronunciation of “shimmera”. I love years in between callbacks! I know this isn’t the first time it’s been called back but this was definitely the best of them thus far. Chef’s kiss!

Markus D

Yeah, I was very disappointed to find that it was NOT like the Song of the Roustabouts from Dumbo.

El Oso Café

I looked up the lyrics to Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee. It's just about the most innocent thing I've ever read.

Someday Sera

with all the talk about weird racist old disney movies...you guys should do song of the south as a secular bonus episode. I tracked it down recently and it's...ROUGH, you'd obviously have to pirate it, as it's not available anywhere legit, but it could be great episode all the same.

Morris Salisbury

I’ve never rewound and listened to something more than Heath with the puppet fucking. A+

Markus Nävergård

we all learned something about ourselves from that movie and possibly rescue rangers